Sarah and I love the Percy Jackson and the Olympians book series. We have been waiting for the movie, The Lightning Thief, to come out since Rick Riordan announced it at a book signing we attended last year. After seeing the movie at the midnight showing Thursday night, we had lots to talk about on the drive home. While Sarah remembers actual dialogue from the books, I just accept that no movie will ever be able to cram everything in from the book. The movie was single-planed and flat compared to the books, but it was still good fun watching the characters and Camp Half Blood come to life. Sarah felt a little short-changed at the very end (you’ll know what I mean when you get to the last scene) and I thought the sparring at the end was more like dancing than fighting. Sarah, however, has forgiven the movie makers from casting a non-blonde/gray-eyed Annabeth Chase, so that’s progress for her. I think all of the actors were cast well and did a good job. I especially liked seeing Uma Thurman in her role as Medusa. Never has Medusa been so glamorous. I also love the actors who portrayed Zeus and Poseidon even though I can never remember their names. They could have chosen a better Hades. His human form didn’t have to looks so not sexy. Hades really needs to ooze bad-boy goodness to be believable. And finally, I cannot criticize the special effects when the gods on Mount Olympus are in the “same” shot as the humans because it reminded me of Clash of the Titans. It added an unexpected dimension.

We have heard a rumor that only the first book of the series will be produced, but I have a feeling that if this movie does well, they will make more. So go watch this movie and maybe there’s hope of seeing Clarisse, in all her warrior glory, given a place on the screen.

**SPOILER ALERT**

First, I blame myself for the rose colored lenses I was wearing up until the moment I walked into the theater. How could I forget that there would be screaming little girls everywhere? I may still feel like a teen, but I am definitely in the Twilight MOM (read: old lady who should not be crazy about Edward Cullen) category. My kids ate cold cereal for dinner, the laundry did not get done, and any interruptions while I read each of the books in the series were met with barely contained snarls and baring of teeth. Luckily, I read fast and happen to have the best husband in the world who, without being asked, quietly led the children away, shut the door to our bedroom and left me in peace to be dazzled. Excepting the second book, I was blissfully happy to live in the world of glittery vampires and superhero powers. There is a reason why Stephenie Meyer has been called the next JK Rowling–it has nothing to do with the quality of writing or subject matter–it is because you want to live in the world she creates and see the characters yourself. You wish it like you wish you knew what butter beer tastes like. The movie could not compete… and incidentally, the only book to movie that I think stands on its own is the Jason Bourne movies. Yes, I know the movies detour from the books, but watching Matt Damon kick booty makes up for all–in the end, you just like the movie for what it is. This movie will not stand on its own, but will be the immortal Grease for all those teens who were there tonight (and for my own preteen who will be seeing it on Saturday with a bunch of her friends).

*take a breath* * think good thoughts* *positive mental attitude* *redirect*

THANK YOU to the person who was parked three stalls from the entrance and left right as I arrived. THANK YOU to my friends who saved me a seat in the theatre so that I could get there a mere hour before show time. We took up almost two rows… a raft of Twilight Moms in a sea of screaming teenage girls (although the youngest in our group was 8 years old–shout out to MM who took a nap after school so she’d be able to stay awake for the midnight show). THANK YOU to the friends who waited for me to pee before walking me out to my car after the movie so that I did not have to go alone. THANK YOU to Zoe for sleeping the whole time I was gone and Josh for watching over her and the kids. THANK YOU to my friends in CA who texted and sent me a picture of them with the security guard working at the theater. THANK YOU for freshly popped popcorn and icy drink. That, my friends, is the summary of good things related to my night. And the rant continues…

Second, I wanted to scream myself multiple times throughout the movie because the audio sucked. There was humming and static and crackling and break ups. Yes, I got my free pass along with everyone else as we filed out to the closing credits because the theater was at fault, but my first experience of the movie is forever scarred. So a free pass cannot be listed among the positives. You can only see a movie for the first time once. I endured to the end because I could not walk out. How could I? All the anticipation building up for the girls’ night out and close to bubbling over… I just couldn’t.

Third, the make up was BAD. You’re not supposed to notice it, right? (Shoot, you’re not supposed to feel like you’re in a theater at all if they get it right, but the sound quality and constant twittering of teenagers also made that impossible.) Rosalie is supposed to be the most beautiful and perfect blonde, but she wasn’t. Her make up and Carlisle’s were the most infuriating. Edward looked good sometimes, but I saw the edge of his contact lens in a close up. Same with the special effects, you’re always aware that they’re on wires.

Fourth, the acting was lacking. Jasper reminded me of Johnny Depp’s Edward Scissorhands… he’s supposed to be trying to contain himself, not look dumb and mute. They’re supposed to be arrogant, godlike creatures… never fragile or scared. Edward is supposed to be very old and it should reflect in his speech and choice of words… more formal. When he first came on the screen, the little girls errupted into a frenzy of screams. That was actually kind of cool because you can’t get that energy by yourself, at home, with a DVD. They did a good job with Alice, she rocked. Bella was cast right because even though she’s supposed to be ordinary in the book, you secretly know she’s got something going for her. Why else would Edward want her? Anyway, Kristen Stewart did OK… a little too tightly wound so that the audience who did not read the book will think she’s got some kind of disorder. That’s nothing to what they’ll think of Edward and his slam dunk seduction in the woods—that went WAY too fast. What the heck are they doing up in the trees? That was not part of the story, but I guess they had to convey quickly some kind of high that this love story took pages to achieve. And the rest of the time the movie dragged. Only people who have read the book will have the patience to sit and wait for it. (Lan can thank me right now for letting me boss her into reading the book first.) And Jacob… his hair was obviously a wig, but who really cares about Jacob anyway? (Sorry Kristen.)

Fifth, I am a nursing mom and my right side was hurting so badly by the time the movie got out. I was happy that Zoe woke up a little while after starting this post so that I could feed her. I was typing with one hand for a while there and now she’s crawling around somewhere probably eating the first forbidden object she can find. I also mysteriously sprained the bottom of my foot in between the heel and arch… I could barely walk to the car. I don’t know what I did, but as I write this, I get up every few minutes and gimp walk to the bedroom to peek in on Zoe (she’s just eating a phone book). Can you feel my dedication?

OK, they did get the dazzling part down right. I like the way Edward sparkled. Rob Pattinson is cute, but not true to the description in the book, and it will not matter to hard core fans. He’s the face of Edward now and I hope he lives through it. Edward in the sun is supposed to be excruciatingly beautiful and they did a good job of that in the movie… so it’s in keeping with my assessment.

OH! I do have a favorite part in the movie… and it has nothing to do with dialog or acting… it was when Supermassive Black Hole played during the baseball game. I danced in my seat because it was nothing compared to my surroundings.

Oh, and the date has moved up to November 21!

Last night we celebrated Zack’s birthday by driving way out of our neighborhood so that we could watch Wall-E at a Movie Tavern.  It wasn’t showing at the Movie Tavern near our house and we could have gone to a regular theatre, but we wanted to sit in the big office chairs that roll around and lean way back while eating bottomless popcorn. The boys had mini corn dogs and my other two big kids had nachos. I just wanted popcorn. Zoe had breast milk, some ice, and a straw. Normally, I would not allow the last two, but she was getting vocal and I didn’t want to take her out and miss the show. (This is not to say that I would rather her poke her eyeball out with a straw or gag herself… I did keep my hand on one end of the straw.)

The movie had a good message, made cockroaches look cute, and confirmed the overall belief that twinkies could last 700 years beyond the end of civilization. I wish I had an M-O (microbe obliterator) rolling around in my house cleaning all foreign contaminants. That would be the bomb.

It was the first time my family has been to the Movie Tavern, but I’ve been to one twice with Susie. I’m happy to report that the popcorn tastes better at our MT, and the butter tastes like butter. The service is wanting in both locations, but that’s what tipping, or not tipping, is for. Our MT is less advanced… we don’t have the little lights to turn on when you want someone to refill your drink, but have to put up a menu on the table. They also had a Han Solo “popsicle” hanging over the bar (which is out in the lobby) with vintage Star Wars posters on the wall…including the original title “Revenge of the Jedi”.

The admission price is almost two dollars cheaper than a regular theatre and the popcorn is six bucks, but we probably didn’t save much driving 45 minutes to get there.  You have to throw in both your arms and both your legs these days to pay for gas.

Zack was able to stay up all the way home so that he could open presents. He got a water powered rocket, an electronic playground, some batteries, and a crank flashlight. He also received a birthday card from Grandma Pudge and Grandpa Johnny a couple of days ago. He had opened a card from Grandma Niki and Grandpa Randy on the way to the theatre and is $50 richer. Josh remarked that he used to get $5-$10 on his birthday which prompted the “used to get a Snickers for a quarter” disussion. Boo hoo hoo. Anyway, it reminded me of Bill Cosby’s telling his children that their grandparents are not the same people he grew up with but that they’re old people trying to get into heaven now. Works for me.

So tonight we are doing the special birthday dinner for Zack. He wanted eggs, sausage and toast for his birthday dinner. I’m also making brownies for him instead of a cake… actually, the oven will already be on, so I might as well make a cake, too. We don’t have any ice cream, so it’ll be over cake and brownies that we sing the Happy Birthday song.

Zack is nine. I can’t believe he’s so grown up, and yet he’s still so not grown up yet. I won’t embarrass him with details. Just trust that what I state is true. I will say that if any of you have any idea how to make an indecisive child more decisive… let me know. He is still the sweetest, most sensitive and most ponderous of our family. He has also grown a healthy dose of sarcasm in his manner of speaking. It’s a good thing he’s cute because it will have to bail him out of the trouble his mouth gets him into. Even so. We’ll keep him.

Can’t embed the vid anymore, so you’ll have to click on the link. Take a listen while you read me… you don’t actually have to watch the video. I just need you to hear the song.

I stopped listening to the Ting Tings for a while because I couldn’t get Beatles songs out of my head after watching Across the Universe. And then we watched Sweeney Todd and I couldn’t get Johnny Depp and Helen Bonham Carter out of my mind. (I crocheted while we watched so I didn’t have to see the bloody mess he was making.) The music is really great despite the moral degradation and sad ironic state of the characters. Josh and I want to watch Jersey Girl again because the little girl does Sweeney Todd for a school talent show.

Well, back to the Ting Tings… I started listening again today and I still like them. Let me know if your shoulders start bopping to the beat. Mine do. I find it interesting that an emotional subject like people not knowing your name (sniff) would be set to music that makes you want to get up and jerk your stuff. I mean, being the “last kid standing up against the wall” when they’re picking teams sucks, right? And somebody calling you hell isn’t a good thing. So we’ll chalk it up to poetic license or artsy fartsy oxymoronic music.

What I really want to know is why do the Brits call their lovers “bird”—it’s a term of endearment, I think. So do any of you know? Enlighten me.