It has been really cold here lately. We’ve got the heat on and we’re wearing socks around the house. It sucks when we have to actually go outside and be somewhere, let alone get out of the cozy bed. I know it’s not the relentless cold of the North, however, so I’m thinking about my friends and family in Colorado, New York City and Washington DC and hoping the little whistle-pig doesn’t see his shadow today. All for you (you know who you are) because I could go another six weeks and then some of winter in Texas. It’s one of the few times we can wear layers without sweating.

Here’s hoping you don’t get stuck living Groundhog Day over and over again. See you on the other side! Hopefully, you got the girl and lost the depressing attitude.

Wow, it’s really dusty here. Glad I just picked up some Pledge to take care of the mess that has accumulated in my absence. (No really, this stuff works great and smells really good, too.) I just took care of 71 spam comments. People find me whenever I post something to Friendfeed or Facebook and then my poor blog is attacked. I still haven’t figured out how to disable comments on some of the pictures I have saved as their own entry. I don’t know how I did that. I don’t know why I did that. I just write here from time to time. Hopefully, now that things are straightened out a little, I’ll get back into more regular posting.

When I started homeschooling this school year, my blog turned into a weekly update for how things have been going. Our education goals have dropped off a little. You know how life happens… first it was the visit from Nana Koko that wreaked havoc on the daily grind and we played a lot and did a lot of field trips, then it was Thanksgiving when we fried a turkey, and then Christmas break came and I only let the kids take one week off while we were at Grandma’s house. Since the new year began, we have gotten back to the daily grind. And it’s fun! I still take a few days to get my work done during deadline week, but for the most part, things have been back on track.

The most exciting change that has happened in homeschooling is that the HEART homeschooling group and Juergen’s Gymnastics have finally cut a deal and the boys will be doing gymnastics once-a-month. I know the sessions are few and far between, but I’m hoping to keep the boys doing their stretches daily so to keep them progressing forward between sessions as much as possible. And they have the Wii Fit. And they play outside on their bikes/razor scooters/ripstick on nice days, like today.

So… other than homeschooling, I’ve been reading books. Even though I have less time now, there is always time for reading. Like when the football game is on, I sit next to my husband in the living room and read. While he is bouncing up and down and yelling about Brett Favre throwing an interception, I’m in another world altogether. These are moments that I truly enjoy. Especially when the laundry’s done and the kitchen sink is clean and everyone is fed and watered or put to bed.

Other things have happened, like Seth turned eight in December and got baptized in January. It was such a peaceful and smooth-going baptism. Everything and everyone was nice. During “intermission” we asked everyone to write a note to him and it was great to read what people wrote. Many of them referenced Grandpa Randy’s talk on baptism (Randy and Niki were both able to attend which was an incredible blessing and miracle considering their unique circumstances). Seth has a nice collection of encouraging words from those who attended. I like that it is also a record of all who attended because I know from experience that when you’re the reason for an event it’s nice to go back and see who was there cheering you on. Seth is currently awaiting his very own set of scriptures which we forgot to order until about a week ago. His set is going to be green. He’s excited to be getting his own pocket hymn book, too, which will also be green. We somehow forgot to get one for Zack, so he’s getting a black one to match his scriptures. These are traditional gifts that we give to them when our children turn eight and are baptized.

As is the custom in our church, Seth also became a new Cub Scout. He could hardly wait to get his uniform. He wears it so proudly. And the Wolf Handbook was devoured in the first hour of it reaching his hands. He had the Bobcat Badge taken care of in his first week of scouts. He has slowed down a little since, but he is still very excited to be a Cub Scout. His enthusiasm has brushed off on his older brother who is a Webelos. Zack has quite a bit to do in the next five months in order to get his badge and Arrow of Light award. It is part of our homeschooling goals to give more time to these scout goals. I have given them a project of learning about the Food Pyramid and presenting it to the family while also taking inventory of our own eating habits from a week of recording everything we ate. I haven’t seen any more action on this, so I’m making a mental note to get out my whip. What? Indiana Jones has one. It’s for cracking, not whipping.

Speaking of whipping… I made another yummy dessert topped with homemade whipped cream tonight. Ever since Zoe’s 2nd birthday (just about two weeks ago), I’ve been craving another yellow cake topped with vanilla pudding, whipped cream, and blueberries. It is so good and so light. You could eat the whole pan in one sitting and not hurt a thing. I’m guessing. I didn’t really do that, but I have a feeling that I could. Everyone just had one piece for dessert/refreshments for Family Home Evening. We played Uno tonight. The first game lasted about 30 minutes. It was so long that we only played two games. The second one was quick. And we were able to dig into our desserts at a decent hour.

Come to think of it, we had dinner at a decent hour, too. All thanks to Josh – he reminded me to put it in the oven around 2pm and also gave me the idea on how to cook the pork I defrosted. I rubbed a pork tenderloin with minced garlic, poultry seasoning, and celery salt, threw it in a foil bag, and roasted it in the oven for about three hours. It was falling apart when I took it out. It was the easiest thing ever. I threw some potatoes on the rack to complement the pork. I got the loin half price, so dinner tonight was about 10 bucks for our family of six. Zoe held her own, too, she ate everything. I kept looking at the floor to see if she was throwing it down there, but no… the times, they are a-changing when the toddler gets more food in her mouth than everywhere else. She even ate the rosemary-salted carrots. The rosemary was grown by Randy and Niki’s neighbor down in Port A. The neighbor mixes it with sea salt and puts the mix in little jars to give as Christmas gifts to the neighbors. We just happened to be in the right place at the right time and scored our own little jar since Randy and Niki still haven’t used up the one they got last year.

Health-wise, we are taking turns with the sore throat and headache cold. I believe it was Zoe who started it. Then I got it last week and now Sarah is really starting to feel it. So at church yesterday we barely got through singing Aloha ‘Oe to a dear friend who is moving to Indonesia. While sitting in church the week before, I felt inspired to sing to her despite my lack of singing voice. I recruited Sarah to sing it with me in the Young Women room after their opening exercises. Since the YW President served her mission in Hawaii, she knows all about this custom of singing “Farewell to Thee” to members who move out of the ward. We sing and then bring lei to give and show our love. Everyone cries. You tell yourself that you’re not going to, but the beauty of the music (even when I’m singing it) creates a portal to your heart and allows all that feeling to come up and out. While practicing the song, I even told the girls not to cry, but everyone was crying by the time we were done with our singing. Arwen, our friend and former YW President, was crying before we began. Instead of flower lei, we gave cookie and candy leis. It was a very nice day at church yesterday. We came home very uplifted.

Aloha `Oe by Lili`uokalani

Ha`aheo e ka ua i nâ pali

Ke nihi a`ela i ka nahele

E uhai ana paha i ka liko

Pua `âhihi lehua o uka

Hui:

Aloha `oe, aloha `oe

E ke onaona noho i ka lipo

One fond embrace, A ho`i a`e au

Until we meet again

Translation:

Proudly sweeps the rain cloud by the cliffs

As onward it glides through the trees

It seems to be following the liko

The `ahihi lehua of the vale.

Chorus:

Farewell to thee, farewell to thee

Thou charming one who dwells among the bowers

One fond embrace, before I now depart

Until we meet again.

What is this?

What do you think this is?

Here’s another view.

C’mon, you got to know it by now. Here’s more of a clue.

Yep. Now you’re getting it. That’s the driver side window of my van. It looked kind of pretty in its shattered state, so I got a little artsy fartsy.

Here’s another question for you… What did this? The police officer who came by my house to file a report said that it looked like a pebble got kicked up by the lawnmower guys or just a big truck driving down the street and it hit my window. I admit that it looks like an accident because nothing was taken and the doors were still locked. The “pebble” was not found when I was sweeping out/vacuuming glass out of the van, however, so I’m not convinced. What could have happened between the hours of 12:30pm and 2:15pm?

For the last few days, I have been parking my car at the end of our driveway to keep the playground ball (and little kids) from bouncing out into the street. We chalked up a four square court and have been playing for recess.

Yesterday, Josh came into our room with a big question mark in his look and said, “Our cars are in the street.” I told him we had been playing four square, and got up to get my keys so that we could move the cars back. Josh still looked confused by my reply and I discovered that he has never played. So we postponed the car moving and got the kids outside to give Daddy a lesson. Once he caught on to the rules, he was like a little kid. He loves playground games. It was a lot of fun.

Getting my window smashed in, however, was not.

Deciding to go to my 20^th High School Reunion had little to do with how much I hated high school or how few people I actually know in my class. I only attended John F. Kennedy High School in La Palma, CA for two years, so why put myself through this awkward social event? I don’t drink, so knowing that everyone would be getting sloshed held no attraction for me either. You would think the automatic answer to the invitation would be, “no” or “yeah… no” or “hell no”. The only thing that gave me pause was finding a volleyball teammate on Facebook and her volunteering to be my date (she knew more people in my class than I did and is extremely outgoing with no social awkwardness whatsoever). I thought it would be enough for her to be at my side during this self-conscious and tedious event. Tedious because you flay yourself with questions like, “What should I wear?” and “How much weight can I lose in one month?” and “What if no one remembers me?” or “What if people remember the wrong thing about me especially now that I’m so changed?”

I bit the bullet and decided that spending a night out with an old friend would be worth it if all the answers to the tedious questions were not in my favor. Besides, my parents still live in the same house and it would be great to go home for a visit. So, I paid the eighty bucks to reserve my spot at the reunion and booked my flight. Pretty soon, my week at home was filled with best friends flying down, my sister coming home from NYC, a family bonfire at Bolsa Chica Beach, and Disneyland. The HS Reunion became secondary to everything else and many times I was tempted to skip it, but I had to go.

There are some who think that Facebook is enough to eliminate the high school reunion. It’s free and you can “spy” on all the people you crushed on without having to confront him or her (aside from the original add as a friend request, but even then there are ways). For some people, any excuse to get together and have a few (or a lot of) drinks makes FB too much of a chore. I have learned from tonight that there can be balance between the two and it’s much better to have both than just one or the other.

For one thing, if you have found high school friends on Facebook already, you can check them out at the event to reconfirm that you like being his or her friend. And if you weren’t that close in high school, it doesn’t matter because you will most likely find something interesting about them or what they’re doing now. And another thing, if they have changed so much that you’re not sure that you know them, when you see them at the reunion you will have flashbacks. Eventually, your brain will remember that you sat next to him in English, that he makes more sense on a skateboard, and that you had no idea how talented she was in high school. And, of course, it’s always good to see a couple of major crushes you had and get some closure—you’re married with children, they’re married with children… and you can move on more completely than you ever did before.

You might get a revelation and find out something you never knew. Especially when people you are still not really sure how you know say, “Oh, Trish Benavente, I remember always hearing your name but I never knew who you were.” My first reaction was a bit hysterical. What is that about? What did they hear? Was it good stuff or was I a gossip magnet for horror? And then I got over it… it doesn’t even matter anymore. I think it’s probably a miracle that my name was ever mentioned at all.

I survived high school and I am proud to admit that I have survived my high school reunion. I should get another diploma.

The time is now right for me to go with my earlier convictions. When I heard about a friend’s decision to homeschool her children, I was so inspired. A five-minute conversation, standing in the street under the hot sun made me very excited about the possibilities. Josh had a similar experience having lunch with a homeschooling parent on the same day. That day (Wednesday, July 8, 2009) and every day since, I have been researching how to put homeschool into action. I have found several websites, talked with friends who are homeschooling or going to homeschool their children, emailed family for their take (with some surprising results), cleaned out the 371.042 catalog section of the local library, and talked with everyone in the house about their expectations. (Sarah wants to be Christopher Paolini and learn how to write fiction, Zack wants to learn about Japanese instruments, and Seth wants to learn about animals that he hasn’t heard of before. Josh wants to have a schedule and regular testing. I want to get my priorities straight and serve my family while strengthening our relationships with each other.)

I have purchased two books that I think will be a good resource in this venture: 100 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum and Home Learning Year by Year: How to Design a Homeschool Curriculum from Preschool through High School. The reason I picked the first is because two friends recommended/lent it to me and the second because it wasn’t available at the local library and I needed a $25 order to get the free shipping. (Maybe I’ll learn something when we study mathematics.) Everything else I have borrowed from the library.

One book that I did not plan to borrow beforehand and ended up getting (it would have looked lonely sitting there by itself after I cleaned off the shelf anyway) is The Homeschooling Option: How to Decide When It’s Right For Your Family. I highly recommend this book for anyone with children (homeschooled or not). I like that it was written just last year and the information is current and relative to today. It brings up valid points about education in an objective manner. The author is a university professor who claims to be biased for homeschooling, but she doesn’t come across that way. The language she uses does not offend and it is easy to take or leave it without feeling guilty for whatever road you choose to take. She draws on her own experience as a homeschooling parent and even though our situations are vastly different, it was nice to hear what it was like for her. Quotes from homeschooled children and their parents are scattered throughout the text and I loved reading about their experiences because their backgrounds were all different, too. Reading what the children wrote, mostly teenagers, was insightful as well. (I wish I could reserve Tim for marriage to my oldest, but he’s already twice her age… oh well.) There’s a “coffee talk” chapter towards the end where the author and other parents get the chance to answer frequently asked questions in a more complete manner as they rarely get the chance in real life, on-the-spot settings. The Appendix at the end of book gives web addresses for legal regulations  and support groups in every state. All in all, this book covers a lot of information to help guide a completely clueless person like myself, and I happily blazed through it towards enlightenment.

I’ve learned so much in the last week! I never knew there was such a thing as Unschooling. It gets me really excited to read about families implimenting this approach, but I know Josh is expecting something more traditional. I know what a Unit Study is and I am amazed at the experiences some families have gone through. The more I have researched, the less I have thought of this as an exercise in “what if” and moved more towards “when”. We can do this to we will do this. The children were already talking about homeschool in terms of when and not if (like it is in the title of the book), and I have gone from cautiously giving vague answers to more definitive ones. We still need to find out if Sarah can continue with band at her current middle school, but I’ve been told that our county allows homeschoolers to participate with public schools. I hope it’s true because this has come on so suddenly… I don’t have any immediate alternatives for Sarah’s career in percussion.

We have already decided that the first year is going to be a work in progress. We have talked with the kids about their expectations. I still have a lot of homework to do on what my Education Philosophy is and what category of learning styles my children fall into. But as each day passes, I get mental glimpses of what it could be like. The other day I dreamed about us planting a garden and got out of bed to peek through the blinds to see where the sun touched the backyard in the morning. I can already see that my attitude towards my children is changing. Instead of waiting for school to start so that I can have the house to myself and just one child who takes naps, I’m noticing opportunities to teach. I’m cherishing the time I have with them now and am looking forward to all the time we will have together “when school starts.” I feel that I will finally be taking veteran moms to heart when they say, “Enjoy it. It goes by so fast.”

My favorite excerpt from the book:  Homeschooling works because it offers a unique and exciting vision of how education, family life, social needs, and the individual can come together at a time when we are questioning the kind of life we want for our children in this new century. Homeschooling gives families the time and space to live together for more than a few minutes each day. Homeschooled children learn that they don’t need to wait until they are eighteen or twenty-two to take their place in society. Home education is tailored to all the child’s needs—intellectual, emotional, social, psychological, and spiritual.

I’ve got two kids here and two kids at camp. It feels very weird. I will be retrieving one of the campers tonight, but for the time being, it’s very quiet here now. No one is bullying or fighting or crying. Zoe just dragged a toy (Sarah’s old computer keyboard with the cord cut down) across the kitchen floor and now she has it on the window sill, happily pushing the buttons and telling herself she’s a good girl (sounds like “guh-goh”). Seth is playing Wii now that he is no longer grounded.

I got on the computer to look up a recipe, but got sucked into FriendFeed for an hour catching up on the rooms I’m subscribed to. And then I ended up here. If I Twittered, I would have made a one-statement post to no one in particular and that would have been the end of it. I just can’t get myself to Twitter, though, and only friends/family who read my blog care anyway, so that’s what I’m here to say. Of course, I’ve never really been good at one-statement posts or short blog posts, for that matter.

I got excited about the FriendFeed Swap – 01 box progress. Tina started a swap and a room for anyone on FF who wanted to participate. She also created a google map showing where the box is going (she’s geeky like that). It started in SC and has made its way up the East Coast and overseas to the UK and France. Every time someone gets the box, they post pictures to the room so we can see what kinds of things people are putting in the box. It’s also nice to put faces to the names that I interact with. The idea is to put a little in the box and take a little out. I need ideas on what to put in the box when it gets here. I can’t put in Armadillo road kill or a Texas Longhorn, but I’m guessing something from Texas is in order. Any suggestions?

I’m getting ready to send out a little box to Pennsylvania. Janet sent me a jar of delicious strawberry jam—I threw myself into her thread showing pictures of her making it and she had mercy on me. Strawberries are a weakness of mine. You send me something strawberry, and I’m yours. Sarah made something for her and Seth added his thanks for the Shoo-Fly Pie (she lives near or in Amish country). I’m throwing in some random Texas things and considering it my Swap Box practice run. I hope she likes the stuff in there.

I’m going to get that recipe and get off the computer now. Gotta take advantage of these quiet times. Don’t forget to leave a comment/suggestion on what I should put in the Swap Box. Help me out… all I can think of is chocolate, but it would be liquified before it left the state… it’s quiet and HOT here.

That is not to say that we do not teach the children that it’s not about the candy or the egg hunt or the new clothes… but it’s about renewal. That’s the word that was preached over the pulpit today that stuck in my head. It’s Spring, the dead branches of winter are sprouting new green leaves and mimic how Jesus died for our sins and lives again. He led a perfect life and was therefore a perfect sacrifice. He was the unblemished and first of the flock given in sacrifice for us. We no longer have to offer burnt sacrifices, the old law is fulfilled in his sacrifice, but he only asks that we come with a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And this we strive to do every week. If we are properly prepared — praying and reading our scriptures daily — partaking of the sacrament each week is an Easter celebration.

I was surprised by the comments made by my children earlier in the week… apparently, every year they get new Easter Sunday clothes. I was unaware that they had noticed this, and if it weren’t for a series of events, I would not have followed through this year. I had no intention of getting them new clothes until I was at the store on Saturday night (we had also gone to Walmart looking for plastic eggs and diet coke to appease the Daddy). We had paid our taxes earlier that day, and after months of stressing over it, it was a burden suddenly lifted. I was glad to be able to get them new clothes because the boys really need them anyway and Sarah has half my closet confiscated. I liked being able to get some of my clothes back and keep this family tradition.

We have another tradition that we started when we lived in Northern California and Sarah and Zack were the only little ones. No matter what the weather, the kids can count on an egg hunt inside as soon as they wake up. We do the Easter Bunny like Santa Claus… he comes after they are asleep. We use plastic eggs with candy inside. This year we got some creme eggs, marshmallow eggs, little wrapped chocolate eggs, Starburst Jelly Beans (because the old fashioned Jelly Beans are disgusting), and Peanut M&Ms. We also had a solid chocolate bunny and a chocolate smelling plush bunny in their empty baskets sitting on the table. This being Zoe’s first Easter as an active participant, we had a new basket for her as well. I used another basket to hold items that I had picked out from Tata and Nananita. She had called a few days before asking me to get something for them.

As a side note, my parents were planning a big egg hunt at their house this year and Nananita was sorry that we couldn’t be there. She said it would be the last party at their house, but I’ve heard her say that before, so who knows? Parties at my dad’s house are insane. Our family is huge, so it takes a lot of energy to throw a party. Lots of food prep, lots of parked cars line the street, and lots of cousins of all ages take over both the front and back yards. It’s one of the reasons I love being a Benavente. I have tons of memories as a child of eating, no, stuffing myself silly with my favorite Chamorro foods and running completely amuck.

For my children, their way of getting crazy was waking up at 4:00 am to hunt for eggs. It’s a good thing that I put a note next to the baskets asking the boys to wake up Sarah before they started (since she knew first hand what areas were off limits), reminding them to leave the eggs on the floor in plain sight for Zoe, and also not to let Zoe hunt until Mommy and Daddy were awake. They were generous enough to wake me at 7:00 am. I was in extra pain because I had been on the phone for an hour with my Mom and didn’t sleep until 3:30 am. I managed in my half-awake stupor to get some footage of Zoe hunting for eggs. The boys were really excited and Sarah didn’t make them go back to sleep when they woke her up. Plus, they said that Zoe was awake with them at 4:00 am. I saw her fall asleep in the middle of the boys’ beds (which are in the middle of the living room right now while their room gets a new ceiling and we get all repairs from Hurricane Ike done) and in the middle of all the commotion. It was sweet. She eventually woke up in time for a bath before church.

After church, we came home and changed (I regret that we didn’t take any pictures as a family wearing our Sunday best — and I even wore makeup today, dangit) so that we could go have Easter dinner with some friends at their house and die some eggs. I brought a pan of sugar-free Jello blocks, a pitcher of sugar-free fruit punch, hard boiled eggs for dying, and some sugar-free candy as a gift. It was out of respect for the diabetic father. What did she make? A ham, cauliflower done like mashed potatoes, jello salad with fresh pineapple, two-different kinds of rolls, and green beans. I felt like we could have contributed more, but she withheld information on how much food she was making. She’s the kind of person that finds joy in serving others, so I forgive her, but the next time she asks us to dinner, we’ve threatened to show up with a roast.

The food and company was very good, however, I had to bow out early because I was so tired and going through a box of Klenex like there was no tomorrow. I had spent the morning with a runny nose despite the Claritin I took. We didn’t get to play any board games like we planned, but it’s just as well. I went to bed when we got home and didn’t get up until 9:00 pm. It felt good to get some rest, but the draining just won’t stop. I went ahead and took a Claritin-D, even though the first one I took is supposed to work for 24-hours. It helped a little, but I ended up popping a Sudafed a few hours later. I’m not sure if this is just allergies at this point. I’m happy that it doesn’t feel like Strep Throat, either. Two or three more times of that this year, and I’ll have to get my tonsils out. My throat just hurts from the post nasal drip. Ugh. Doesn’t it make you swallow and gag just to read that? Ugh. It does me. Sorry, I’ll change the subject.

Right now I’m guessing that there are still about 20 hiding eggs. We hid 116 of them and they still had 40 to go when I counted this morning. The eggs will keep popping up unexpectedly as the year goes by. We recycle them every year, and I had thought we wouldn’t have enough plastic eggs for this year’s hunt. I didn’t buy any new ones because they were sold out. It’s probably better to keep the number around 100 anyway. A few more years of living in this house, and all the hiding places will be known.

“Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the Lord. Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the Lord.” Jeremiah 23:24

Zack, Trish, Seth & Sarah

The area is really pretty and my kids were having so much fun communing with nature. They raced each other to see who could fill their bags first and showed anyone nearby what they found. Sarah found a wooden cane. It was a good find because she used it to pull glass bottles out of a flooded area. Zack claimed to have collected 11 glass bottles that were unbroken and three broken ones. Then he and Sarah found a tire. Seth was ahead of us and came back to declare that his bag was full and he was taking a break. He then found a mattress set with Sarah. There was a bunch of trash and I got really grossed out. Up until that time, I had picked up cigarette butts, pieces of beer cans looked to have been used as target practice, coffee cups, styrofoam, plastic bags, and a few beer bottles. It was fine up until we found someone’s “camp ground” as Sarah called it. I was glad that everyone else was done by then and we could go home.

Bag Of Trash

Gross, huh? What is it with people who litter in the first place? Such blatant disregard for the environment astonishes me. Do we really need to teach this every year? I can understand teaching children how to care for the earth, but grown people who smoke cigarettes, drink coffee and beer? I picked up after them today and I hope that they drove by and noticed. I hope that they had a change of heart. I hope they made a decision not to mess with Texas. “The world is not your ashtray,” as Josh likes to say.

Haley Kids found a mattress set.

Going out and serving the community in this manner brought instant blessings to my family. They were happy to be out in the sunshine, mud and fresh air. Because of the crazy rain/hail yesterday, the air was pretty clean of pollen. My nose was still running, but I think that was more because of the chilling wind. It was funny when the kids would yell, “Oh! Trash!” and then run to pick it up. Who knew that they could get excited about picking up trash? We had fun being with friends from church and talking while filling our bags.

Blackberry bush growing over the trash.

I found beauty in the rubble. Dirt had found its way into a little glass bottle lying on its side. I picked it up and saw little plants with green leaves growing inside. I should have taken a picture of it. I also found blackberries (I think) growing over the trash I was picking up when I moved it aside and pricked my finger. I didn’t see the berries at first, but the thorns got my attention. I did take a picture of that.

This event is now my new family tradition. I want us to do this every year. Now that we know what to expect, we can be more prepared and dress a little warmer. Anyone want to come with?

As you may know, I’m a graphic artist for a small company in Northern California. When I was first hired part-time, I worked in the office for the first few years. My geek husband pushed for a way for me to work from home and through a series of events, I eventually did. Now that my home is in another state, it’s nice to still be working for them. (It has been the best job ever for a stay at home mom like me.) A friend of mine not only got me the job, but trained me to use the design program, CorelDraw (5th edition, I believe, and I have since worked my way up to the 13th edition). Last year (my tenth year with them) they decided to make the switch from PC to Mac with the intention of switching programs to InDesign. This is the first month that I’ve used the new program while still using PC (I hope to be a Mac person just as soon as budget freezes are a thing of the past and my one client is able to place an order). I started watching tutorials and learning the program at the end of February. The last couple of weeks have been grueling. Not just because I had to create everything from scratch (not having any older files to modify) and don’t know any keyboard shortcuts like I did in Corel, but because I couldn’t work consistently during the day with a newly walking toddler toddling. My hours of work began when she slept for the night. I’ve been working graveyard. I sleep at 3 or 4 am and get up at 8 or 9 am. (And now you know why it’s now 5 am and I’m still up. That and sleeping all day Sunday thanks to my wonderful husband giving me time to recoup.) I used to make a steady 35 hours for the month (which is really three weeks of work), but we dropped a book in November, so my hours went down to the 20′s. This month I’ve racked up 68 hours and I still have one more calendar to make for the Benicia book. Normally, that takes me a couple of hours. So I’ve set records this month.

We could definitely use the cash, but my body is freaked out. I think that’s why I got strep throat last week. I’m on my sixth day of antibiotics and no one else has shown any symptoms. I’m glad for that, but it confirms to me that I’m pushing myself. What else is to be done? Zoe has memorized the 20 episodes of the Wiggles we have recorded on our Tivo. Even with that, I can’t sit at my laptop long enough to keep up with my work. This first month was extreme, though, and I think I have learned enough to be more efficient with the program so that I don’t lose so much sleep next month. If you were, however, needing me in the last couple of weeks and I flaked… I’m sorry. Anything I had leftover was kept for my family. And even that was minimal. (Long live Taco Bell.)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Zoe woke up, so I was unable to finish this and just hit the sack with her around 6am. I slept until 11am this morning and I forced myself out of bed, but then Seth wanted to read me a story from his new Captain Underpants book that he got on my birthday and that just put me under for another hour. I snoozed on the couch while the kids played Super Monkeyball until Sarah announced that Zoe’s diaper was leaking. Zack didn’t change her diaper when she woke up this morning so the expanded load was sagging below her knees and barely hanging on by cutting into the tops of her thighs. So I got up to give her a bath. Then I ate a bowl of cereal and washed the dishes. And here I am again and the time is now 1:45 pm.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

My birthday was pretty fun. I wasn’t expecting much because I already racked up the presents at the beginning of the year and the end of last. I have a new laptop, a new iPhone, a new seatbelt purse that I love, almost the entire set of Pampered Chef stainless steel cookware, a new hearing aid, and a pair of Aquamarine (my birthstone) earrings made by a fellow Friendfeeder. Josh also bought me some candy because I made this new rule that I can’t buy candy anymore. (Don’t laugh. I’ve kept to it pretty well. I can do this.) And then, as mentioned, he made me stay in bed all day Sunday to recover from strep and working long hours. It was a great gift. The kids made some wonderful creations, too. Their creativity tickles me and their delight in giving me their gifts tickles even more. I had spent the day dropping the “It’s my birthday card,” so when I read the front of one of the cards Josh’s parents sent, I laughed. It says, “Just because you were born on St. Patrick’s Day it doesn’t mean you’re special.” The inside says something like I’d be special no matter what day I was born. *awww!*

Friday, March 20, 2009

We went to the park yesterday even though I’m allergic to the pollen that is currently making the air tangible. I let the kids run around and ride bikes while I took pictures and had a runny nose. Then we came home and had hot dogs for dinner. Josh busted out the Twilight movie to watch — much to Sarah’s delight. We three sat down to watch it, but Josh didn’t last. He was very perceptive before he zonked out, though, and Sarah and I were making meaningful eye contact over his head every time he made a comment. I liked it a lot better this time since I could both see and hear it very well. I also caught Stephenie Meyer getting her veggie platter at the bar in the diner. I actually hit the sack early at 1:30am. After 8 hours of sleep, I’m dragging. I spent the morning ordering more Pampered Chef stuff on my mom’s dime. It’s her birthday present to me. (Woo hoo! Thanks Mom!) I found out that I get 10% off for a whole year since I hosted a party. I probably didn’t need to know that… PC is my crack. Actually, I’m probably ready to move on to something else now that I’ve got my cookware.

I didn’t finish telling you about my birthday. I had a great day! I thought it would take me a couple of hours to finish up a few calendars for work, but it ended up taking me the whole day. Josh was working from home and he planned to make dinner for me, but by the time I finished working, it was too late to cook. So we decided to go to Outback Steakhouse and use the gift cards that Justin and Brooke had given us for Christmas. (Thanks Justin and Brooke!) It was fun to go out to dinner as a family and watch Zoe eat and drink everything in sight. She had a few bites of the Bloomin’ Onion, lots of bread, and her own giant bowl of mac and cheese made with penne pasta and tons of butter (I tasted it). She drank milk from a straw for the first time. She enjoyed eating out way too much. That girl is a bottomless pit, I tell ya.

After eating, we went next door to Half-Priced Books to see what we could find while also walking off the huge dinner. I love looking at the journals they sell. Even though my track record with writing has gone down the tubes, I still got Josh to buy me a green one in honor of St. Patrick’s Day. I also got a softcover of the first book in a friend’s favorite series. The something of Recluse… I can’t think of the name and I’m too lazy to get up. I also tried looking for Elric of Melnibone, but they didn’t have it. Josh’s brother Sean confirmed the title when he visited here two weekends ago. It was his book that I took from his parent’s shelves and read back when I was living with them in Hawaii. I have been wanting to read it again and couldn’t remember the name of it. Anyway, now I have a book to read and a green journal. Seth has been eyeballing the journal. He asked me if he could write something small in it and he told me to read it before I went to sleep. I let him. I have a feeling that it’s not going to be my journal anymore, but I’ll scan what he wrote because I love the way he signs off.

By the time we got home I had forgotten that I had a volleyball game. I immediately threw on the knee pads and shoes and went back out the door. Our team was short one and they had a very skilled player, albeit old, on the other team. I think we won one and lost one and then lost the tie breaker. I stayed to play some more. We mixed up the teams and I got to be on the same team as the awesomely skilled guy. He must have been devastating in his prime. You can tell by his mannerisms. There’s no wasted movement and he has textbook blocking skills and kills just about everything you throw in the air. Not only that, he was an inspirational player and brought the best out of everyone. He didn’t mind doling out the sets and taking the backseat. I love humble people. Everyone has fun when people are both talented and humble or at least respect others no matter what level of skill they are at.

The same could be said for online interaction. When you are humble and tactful in the things you say online, it’s much more fun for everyone. I’m still pretty active on Friendfeed when I’m not busy working. It has changed a little… some people get tired of it and announce that they’re over it and leave. I’ve been on long enough to know that some people do that and then come back because they’re curious to see what’s been going on. They can’t stay away. Others just simply disappear and reappear days/weeks/months later, or maybe not at all. One of Josh’s podcasting buddies decided to quit the podcast and tonight was his last night of live broadcasting. I missed most of the podcast (I’m supposed to be keeping the kids quiet while the recording is going on), but I’m sure it was sad for everybody that listens to the show. He’s still on Friendfeed and Facebook, so we’ll still see him around online. He twitters, too, but I don’t really.

Josh signed me up for Twitter, but I haven’t done anything with it. I think I posted one update and then quit because I really don’t get it. It amazes me when I get followers… I think they’re mostly spammers, but why do I need to Twitter when I see it on Friendfeed? Facebook gets pulled in, too. It all becomes very redundant. And I’m just a little self-conscious. I refuse to believe that anyone really cares about the play-by-play of my daily life. I mean, what am I going to post? “Changed Zoe’s diaper.” “Zoe’s diaper stinks.” “Watching TV.” “Reading a book.” “Don’t want to cook dinner.” “What should I cook for dinner?” Mix and repeat. Seriously? Who has the time? I have this habit of clicking comment, writing a sentence, and then hitting delete instead of post. I’m so worried that someone will block me for my mundane drivel so I beat them to the punch. I do it 90% of the time unless I’m in some social butterfly mood and then I’m the comment queen. Sadly, I encounter lots of *crickets* (which means that I post a comment and people carry on conversations around it without acknowledging my comment), but Josh tells me not to take it personally. Some days are better than others and I have had some fun conversations and have developed a liking for certain friendfeeders. Mostly, they’re the ones that notice me. And they most likely notice me because I’m Josh’s wife not because I’m an uber geek.

Anyway, my cyberspace self-concept sometimes takes too much effort to maintain. Sometimes it’s easy to post something you think others will think is cool and when the timing is right there are fun conversations to be had. It’s effortless and fun and you love life that day. Those days are rare for me, but I like the interaction with different types of people so it keeps me hanging on. Every now and then, it’s good to step away… just like anything, there needs to be balance. Sometimes it’s good to just live life away from the computer.

Stepping away now…

When I woke up this morning the thermostat read 63 degrees F inside the house. I decided to bake the rest of the gingersnap cookie dough I had in the fridge to warm up. I always hate turning on the heat since we spend most of the year trying to cool down the house. It just seems wrong somehow. My mother would laugh at how I make everyone bundle up until we actually see our breaths (only then will I submit). She used to tell us to “bundle up!” and we were forbidden to touch the thermostat in our rooms. But this was in Northern Idaho, so she really was cruel. My brother once got totally busted for having his room temperature reach 90 degrees F. What a rebellious child… and all I did was steal the car (at 14 or 15 years old) and drive 30 miles over the border to Washington. I actually got away with it until my stepdad got in the car to go to work the next day and the mirror and seat were all kapakahi. They marched straight to my brother’s room to question the culprit while I hid under the covers wondering what method they would use to kill me. Lying was not an option, so they were shocked that the culprit turned out to be me. My brother went back to his sauna of a room while I got grounded for the whole summer one week before school let out.

Mom wasn’t that cruel, after all she did let me go to the library and I would spend my days and nights reading. And luckily, we had planned a month-long family vacation to visit my Aunt’s summer home in Rockport, Massachusetts. So I did actually get to see the light of day… it’s hard to confine your kid to the house when the house is not yours. And then shortly after that, I went to Southern California to stay with my dad for the rest of the summer. My punishment was not all that bad when I look back. And now we laugh about it. “Remember when you stole the car?” Ha ha ha ha. One thing my mom doesn’t know, however, is how I did not know how to downshift. So when I reached that one big hill that overlooks the city, I was going 30 mph on a 65 mph highway. Cars were honking and passing me and I couldn’t figure out why the car was slowing down. Let’s just say that if my daughter ever pulls a stunt like this one… Josh will be the one to deal with her because I will revisit my imagination on methods of killing.

I’m actually quite proud of Sarah right now. She missed a week of school and did almost all of the make up homework last night. She reported to me what else needed to be done and how she was going to get it done before she went back to classes today. I was really amazed at how she has learned to organize her time and use the bus ride to school as a study hall. I was worried in the beginning of the year when she wasn’t turning in her homework. Middle school is a new experience for her and she found out that no one was going to be checking up on her at every turn to see if she has done the work. Now she knows that we will check up on her eventually and that there is a reason for report cards. Her biggest issues on that front is fluctuating from an A+ to an A- or B+. They use percentages and not letters, but I can’t help thinking of them in that way. Currently, she is a straight A student… as is her brother, Zack.

Zack is excited to be doing his first science project. He’s going to find out “Which fruits can ruin your dessert” by making jello and putting in two fruits that are listed on the box as “do not add”. He chose this experiment so that he can eat the results. Sarah, Seth and Zoe will be happy to help him, I think.

Zoe had her first birthday yesterday, but she is young enough for us to sneak it past her. We are trying to slow everything down and speed them up at the same time. We’re keeping her from walking on her own so that Daddy can hurry up and come home from his business trip in Vegas. She took a few steps on her own before he left, so we know she’s on the verge of a breakthrough. He called and sang Happy Birthday to her while I had my phone on speaker. It was cute the way she showed a response… like that she was even alive. Poor thing came out positive for strep throat yesterday and we were waiting for her prescription to be filled. So she was kind of a bump on a log, looking at me with droopy eyes. I hope she will always get lights in her eyes at the sound of her daddy’s voice. She’ll be like me in that sense.

I really can’t believe she has reached a year old. I’m usually contemplating weaning about now, but it hasn’t even crossed my mind. We all want her to just stay small. I love to hug her and breathe in her baby smell. It goes away all too fast, and it’s hard enough to share her. Pretty soon she’ll be stiff-arming all of us so that she can walk, run and climb on her own. She tells us all of this in her baby talk and we just can’t understand yet, but I know she’s saying it. The things she does say that we can understand are: bup or bup pup pup for UP, mo (while doing the sign for “more”) for more, bah for bye, hah da-e for hi daddy, and shakes her head for no. Oh and she says mama—like it’s a sentence… “mama ma mama mamamam”.

So when Josh gets home tomorrow we’ll celebrate Zoe’s birthday. Or maybe we’ll wait for the weekend… I’m so behind on work right now. My deadline is tomorrow and I’ve got 31 emails from my office to take care of. This is the story of my life. I endeavor to get things done early, do things more spread out, but so far this year, I’m still cramming and pulling overnighters to get it done. I’ll survive.

Going to go put some socks on now because I just looked at the thermostat and it only reached 64 degrees F. Oh, well. At least now I can bundle up and eat cookies, too.