Trish’s Blog

We scored some Halloween candy, and I’ll try to post stuff of my kids in costume later… much later… when my work is done, but I had to tell this story from yesterday while it is fresh.

Seth was invited to Chuck E Cheese for a classmate’s birthday party. He told me that he knew exactly what he wanted to buy as a gift and told me to go to Toys R Us. Since it’s out there by Chuck E’s, I decided to humor him. He cracks me up how he knows exactly what he wants and it fits the person he’s buying for. It took only a second to get the two Star Wars items, so we were done shopping and really early for the party. The party was supposed to start at 1pm… so I thought.

It was 12:15 so we went to visit my cousin and his new baby… only a few days old. He was sweet and so tiny… Zoe looked like a giant next to him. Our visit felt rushed because by the time we got there it was time to head back the way we came. So we gave gifts, hugs and kisses and were back in the car at 12:55… late… after all my careful planning.

We pulled in to the parking lot, found a spot a quarter of a mile away from the entrance, and began to exit the car out into the sun. Seth grabbed the gift, I grabbed Zoe and it took me a whole minute to realize that my arm and hand were splattered with yellow poo-poo. I couldn’t pick up my keys sitting near the car seat. I couldn’t touch anything, so I instructed Seth to grab the wipes out of the bag which I couldn’t put down because sliding it off would have spread the poop. Seth opened the wipes container, and the wipes were totally dried out. So I grabbed the baby’s blanket (one of my favorites) to wipe my hand and use it to cover and contain Zoe’s bum, and I judged from the look of the car seat, that it was too late for my shirt. I used the dried up wipes to wipe up the biggest of the mess on my hands and the carseat. Then I could drop the bag. I squatted down and put Zoe on my knee so that I could wipe up what was on her arm. I forgot to make sure the blanket went around her when I sat her down, so when I stood up there was a bright yellow spot on the front of my shorts.

I decided to leave the dirty unwet wipes on the ground near the door to retrieve later. My arm was getting sore holding Zoe in one place, I was sweating, and I could see there was still yellow stuff stuck in between my nails. I decided to just get inside and get to the bathroom. Poor Seth just wanted to go play and we were really late by then. So I shut the door and immediately cuss. The keys were still sitting on the chair next to the car seat. So, just to review… there I was… covered in poop, sweating in the sun, possibly going to hell for cussing in front of my six-year-old, and I knew that Josh was going to either laugh or yell for having to come to rescue me. I apologized to Seth and we turned to go inside.

When we got inside, we had to wait in a short line to get the uv stamp on our arms. My left arm was burning from holding Zoe in one place to avoid getting poop on the other side of my shirt. We found Seth’s party and the only people sitting at the table were the adults. Seth knew his friend’s mom and went to say hi. He gave her the present. She stood up to greet me and I had to refrain from shaking her hand because there was still yellow stuff turning brown on my hand. I said that I would be right back. Seth ran off to find his friend, and I went to the restroom.

There was no changing station in view. I assumed it was in the back in the handicap stall. Since I needed the sink, I didn’t bother to look. There were three sinks and the counters surrounding them were all wet. I still couldn’t put anything down and relieve my aching arms until after I got some paper towels (still holding baby, bag and poopy blanket) and wiped down the counter. I put the bag down, was able to get Zoe to stand in the sink and began pulling off her soiled clothing and diaper. I had some baby wash in my bag and was able to give her a quick wash while she stood in the sink. I was glad for the hot water that came out of the tap.

I had to hold Zoe with one hand, wash with the other, and then I couldn’t pick her up again on my left side until I had wiped up my shirt. So I had to hold her with one hand and try to clean my clothes with the other. I couldn’t get her totally dry with the paper towels and then I couldn’t lie her down anywhere, so I put on her diaper while I was holding her. Can you picture that? It ended up pretty crooked, but at least the diaper was clean. I tried to wash off the blanket and her clothes, but it was a challenge one-handed. I was lucky to find a plastic trash bag sitting on top of the paper towel holder, and added “thief” to the list of strikes against me which had grown very long in a 15-minute period. I console myself by justifying that I cleaned their sink and counter in exchange.

By the time I came out of the bathroom, the kids were watching Seth’s friend open his presents… only Seth wasn’t around. He was still out playing and didn’t get to see the reaction to his gift. Oh, well, I think his mom was excited, and then I realized that the party was over… we weren’t just late, we were tremendously late… like over an hour late. If we had gone to Chuck E’s right after shopping, we would have been 15 minutes late. As if being covered in poop wasn’t enough to be embarrassed about… I was embarassed that we missed the good stuff like eating pizza and singing Happy Birthday Chuck E Cheese style.

While my face gradually turned red, I was continuously dialing home. Josh didn’t the have his cell phone with him and I knew he was outside painting a shed with Sarah and Zack. There was no way to get his attention other than dialing the home number over and over again. Eventually, Sarah reported that the phone was ringing and ringing. It’s a good thing they got thirsty and came into the house to get drinks.

Josh finally answered and when I told him I needed him to bring his set of keys, he had the good sense to ask permission to laugh. I let him… he had not heard the whole poop side of the story yet. I got him to bring a container of wipes (that were wet) but forgot to ask for a set of clean clothes. What a relief it was to be able to hand him the baby, unload the bag and plastic bag into the van, and clean up the mess better in the car seat. I picked up the dirty wipes from the ground (eliminating “litter bug” from my list of strikes against me) and put it on the floor of the van. I double and triple checked that I had my keys and then locked and closed the door.

I felt bad that Seth had not had much time to play, so Josh let me take Zack (covered in paint in his least favorite clothes) inside to play with Seth. The party parents probably stayed longer than they intended for our sakes. They even gave Zack some tokens. It was so nice of them. The boys played and we went home and lived happily ever after.

Now I have to go grab my keys and make sure that I took out those poopy wipes. Sheesh.

Posted on November 2nd, 2008 by trish
Filed under: Baby, Haley Kids