Trish’s Blog

Alpha Female Body Language
Current mood: exhausted

So do you ever show up to play ball and meet someone who does not know your place in the world? It’s nothing that they actually say in words to you, but it’s all in the body language.

I showed up late to my game because I couldn’t just throw the kids in the car and go (Zack’s still not doing too good… flu is kicking his butt right now), but had to wait for Josh to get home from downtown. He usually gets home way late on Fridays, but all I had to do was ask, and he came through for me. He called me just before he turned on our street so that I could jump in the car and be ready to roll when he drove up. Kind of like a relay race.

It’s a good thing the gym is right around the corner in my neighborhood. Probably took me like 60-65 seconds to get there, but the game had already started when I walked in. I was all jazzed because I had just finished doing taxes and the day will only get better when there is volleyball involved.

So there was this girl playing on our team that I have never seen before. She seemed very bouncy and upbeat just in the few seconds it took for me to get my shoes on and tied. My team noticed I was ready and asked the ref if I can just jump on (they were playing with only five players–would have been four if not for bouncy girl). So I did, and the game continued. We have been playing with five players for the last three weeks because one of the girls had to drop out, and it doesn’t bother us much because we keep winning.

When we won the game and switched sides it was a perfect time to introduce myself to the way too bouncy younger girl with her tight little shorts and body parts all in the right places and proportions. I said, “I’m Trish, what’s your–” and she interrupted me to tell me her name and then the shortened version of it and how so many people just called her by the first letter of her name. The whole time she was talking, she did not look at me, but was looking at the boys on our team. I pushed through with another question. I asked if she was just subbing or if she was going to be part of our team now. She looked at Steve, the guy who makes all the decisions even though he’s not the captain because he played for UT and can really cream the ball, and he shrugged and said that as long as she can keep coming, she can be on the team. I put on my excited face and said how great it was because we have been playing with five and need another girl anyway. And still, she did not look at me. Weird.

Not knowing anything about this girl, like did she come with Steve, are they dating? Or maybe she’s dating Jason? I did the only thing a girl in my position would do… while waiting for our team to serve I said to Steve, “She’s cute.” And he laughed and said, “Yeah, and she’s only 22.” Not sure what he meant by that, but I figured he wasn’t dating her. I didn’t really try to converse with her for the rest of the game, but I did call out a few atta-boys when appropriate (“Nice up”, “Good Serve”, “Great Pass”).

So we win the game without really breaking a sweat, but Steve has us all lined up to play at another gym in Atascocita, and it’s called The Gym. Pretty original, right? For some reason, the volleyball there seems more competitive. The first and last time I had played there I was almost brought to tears by a Spanish-speaking incredible player who asked me in heavily accented English if I was going to play deep or not because he could work around whatever I chose to do (“That was my ball, but I don’t touch it because you are there. So just tell me if you’re going to play deep or short or what…”). Gee whiz, just tell me in short sentences to play deep. It didn’t help that I shanked the next three serves in a row. I could feel the blood rushing to my face… but that’s not what we’re here to discuss…

Bouncy girl came along to The Gym, and I was playing it cool because I wasn’t getting a vibe of comraderie from her. She wanted attention from the boys. At one point she made me sub out for her so that she could set for Steve… you know she didn’t actually say that.. but I could just tell from her body language that that’s what she wanted to do. I thought it was kind of bossy. You know? You don’t just sub in for someone in the middle of a serve… you wait for the sideout and rotate out. And even though I’m setting, she’s calling out “right here” or “help” thinking she’s the setter and she’s in the back row while we’re running a four-two. And the high fives she was giving the boys when they were hitting down my sets… girl, step back. I didn’t know why she thought she needed to compete with me or try to steal my thunder. I’m not after these boys. She really didn’t have to go all alpha female on the court. It was like she was racing to push me out of the way so she could bust down a door, and I kept stepping back and opening the door at the last minute to let her crash on by. She started to look a little ridiculous.

I just played it cool and by the end of the night she did relent a little. I got her to look me in the eye. And when it was time to leave and I called out, “Bye, guys.” She was the one that said, “OK, see you later.”

If she’s going to be on our team, it’s good for her to know my place in the world.

Posted on March 2nd, 2007 by trish
Filed under: vball